Teddy, Kenmore (A short account)

The building was once a hotel, for women only I was told. It had a haunted quality to it that most of the people there certainly acknowledged. The carpeting in the hallways was tomato sauce red, with yellow lines across it. If you stared at it long enough the lines seemed to elevate off the carpet and spin around. The hallway on my floor made me feel like I was in the film 'The Shining'. When I stood at the end of it I imagined blood appearing from the door cracks, gushing out towards me. I was in apartment 712 at the very end of the hall, which is where the gore would have emerged from most likely. Not too far from what was to come I suppose. One of the more charming elements of the non-unit interior of this old building were the walls. They were coated so thickly with paint that I would tell my friends "I live inside of a giant cake!". It was like thick vanilla frosting. But the place was scary. The maintenance guy was sinister and would peer at me with complete hatred from behind his dust mask. Anytime I asked him for anything, he would have a mental breakdown, it was creepy... I even remember holding the gate open as he and some investigators carried out a decomposed body in a body bag. I swear I heard swishing.

Kenmore and Hollywood in Chicago... I was not the only homosexual on my floor. There was an older guy w/ a 19 year old boyfriend from Europe who didn't stay very long. But there was me, Teddy, and David; we were the stuff. David was very intelligent, kind of cruel, and had a dead pet in his freezer. He also had many living pets, and a lot of interesting acquaintances. We didn't always get along. He had large eyes that stared comically through round glasses. and it just made me want to slap him. It was so condescending, and he knew it. We would get stoned together, and his lover/roommate was an ex drag queen with a husky voice that sounded like punch, who I got along with. He and I had many awesome times in my cute little studio that looked over Lake Michigan. But neither he or David were very fond of Teddy, and regarded him as an oaf. I could hear them whispering on the fire escape sometimes as they smoked cigarettes, most likely looking into his window, making fun of him like hags. It was mean.

I loved Teddy, he had a severe heart murmur, and was told he would most likely not make it to 30. He was only 27. So he drank... a lot. Barely making ends meet off a meager trust fund, he managed to get through a half gallon of vodka on a daily basis. Cranberry vodka, Marlboro's, and Oprah in the morning , it was his thing. I never hated him for it, I had my own problems anyway. But I knew it was killing him, and I really wasn't in a position to try and interfere (I did scold him many times). It was a problem that we were all very aware of. Even the building manager (a very nice lady from Eastern Europe who always gave me stuff for my skin) would ask me about him when I would go to her office downstairs to pay the rent. When his mother started coming on weekends to stay with him I knew it was getting bad. When I had first moved in, we had hung out so many times, but that decreased as time went by. It was 04-05 and I did not know very much about the internet. Teddy kind of showed me the ropes. We watched Ab Fab together, and would sometimes go out. It was great, he felt like an authentic friend. He was so quirky, and very hip when it came to The Arts. And despite his problem, he was filled with insight and kindness. He had an odd side (a kind of mischievous secretive air about him), but I knew that he liked me, and I assumed that his strange attitude with me was a consequence of that for the most part.

Then I had my fallout. Quite literally. Not able to withstand the 10 or so chemicals running through my veins, dealing with the death of my friend David (another David), and feeling very uncertain about my safety, I could only consider barricading myself in my studio, as I became frantic at the prospect that somebody was going to come inside to hurt me. Walking out into the hallway was a certain death, and staying inside was also not a safe option. When I saw a guy standing on the roof above my apartment (it was reflected on the window of the building across from me), I felt this heavy evil presence, and I lost control. I screamed hoping that Teddy or his Mom, Trudy would come help me. But I doubt I would have opened the door if they had come by. There was a rain gutter next to my window, and I climbed out and latched onto it. I fell the full 7 floors, and I survived with rather minor injuries. And as Teddy had recalled, he saw all the gore my injuries left behind, in the alley way and freaked. This is almost another story, however it is very much part of this one.

I was unconscious for three weeks, but I recovered very quickly. I would not be returning to my apartment on Kenmore however. All of my things were moved into another "safer" place. Teddy had visited me when I was still asleep, it was a kind gesture, but it was a better option to stay out of touch for a while. One day when I was at the hospital receiving physical therapy as an outpatient, I glanced up and saw Teddy there. He was being held by two nurses, and couldn't walk. His skin had gone yellow, and he was trembling. But he recognized me. I felt awful; I had gained a lot of weight and was dressed rather nicely. It was kind of ironic, but I cared about him so much that I didn't see it that way at the time. I had completely lost my sense of reality. It was so odd to see him in such a state at this hospital in a totally different neighborhood, after I had survived the inconceivable. I hugged him, and spoke to him, and he was carried off. I made a point to visit him in his room a few days later and he looked much better. It seemed promising. Even Trudy was happy. It was a mini-reunion. We really had a few good laughs.

A few months went by. I had tried calling Teddy with no success. And finally on the day before Christmas it dawned on me. Teddy was dead. I knew he had moved to the fourth floor, so I went there in a taxi. I showed myself into the building as someone was coming out and knocked on his door. I heard that a television was on. But there was no answer.

And I became very sad. I went up to the roof and cried because I knew.

A few months later I saw a girl out in public that had known Teddy and she told me that he had died in the winter. So it was confirmed.

Last month I called the building manager. I do not know if she knew that I was okay. I thanked her for everything, and I apologized for doing what I had done in her building. I told her that I was living in Portland, and working and getting school situated. She sounded so happy for me. It seemed like it was good for her to hear something positive. Living on Kenmore was one of the more definitive phases of my life, I was so vibrant with ideas and inspiration. And even though things got very dark, I have the best memories of riding my bicycle everywhere in that neighborhood, getting tacos at 3 AM, hanging out at Touche. Cooking in my studio, and blasting 'Sound Dust' by Stereolab, 'Nunsexmonkrock' by Nina Hagen, and 'Medulla' by Bjork. And my kitties Mickee and Scoti (may they rest in peace), and then of course Teddy, my funny innocent friend.

...A few old recipes...

Tempeh and Mash:

Potatoes:
4 large potatoes
2 tsp cloudy garlic powder
1/2 cup soy milk
Crushed Dried Parsley as desired
3 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp Oriental Vegetarian Mushroom Flavor Stir-Fry Sauce
2 tsp of salt- or desired amount

Boil potatoes, mash them, then stir in and mix all ingredients for more than a minute, cook on low heat for about 5 minutes.


Tempeh Recipe:
Olive Oil to fry
One 8 oz cube of soy tempeh cut into smaller cubes
1/2 onion diced
2 garlic cloves fresh, diced
1/2 of one habanero chile diced
fresh basil as desired, diced
small amount of cilantro (fresh)
1 vegetarian bouillon cube, diluted in 2/3 cup of hot water

Let the oil get hot honey, then add onion, garlic, habanero, basil, cilantro. Cook together for a few minutes on medium heat. Add cubed tempeh and turn heat to high. Stir-fry. Tempeh should brown (I like it slightly burned on a side or two and usually prefer things to get smokey enough to set off the fire alarm). Now add diluted veggie cube okay, it should sizzzzzle. Mix everything. Cock on medium high until most of the water has evaporated.


Serve tempeh-fry on top of steamy bed of mash; relish the delightful aroma like nectarous...


Green Garden Miso Noodle

Broth and Noodles:

2 qt saucepan of water with 2 inches of room at top
2 vegetable bouillon cubes (or 3 depending on preference for saltiness)
1 onion bouillon cube
1 tsp sesame oil
½ cup soy bean peas
½ cup fresh snow peas
2 drops green habanero hot sauce
few drops of fish oil
2 tbsp concentrated miso paste
1 sheet of dry roasted seaweed (cut or crumbled)
1 8.
8 oz package of frozen Japanese Style Sanukiya Udon Noodles (Shirakiku preferably)

Prepare Udon Noodles separately according to instructions on package. Bring water to light boil, turn heat to low, add ALL ingredients, stir well, making sure most of the Miso Paste has diluted; continue to cook on low heat for a little over 10 minutes. Add more water if necessary. Set aside.


Stir-Fry Topping for Soup:

Sesame oil to stir-fry
2-4 oz.
of cubed extra firm tofu
2/3 cup chopped bok choy (large)
½ cup chopped broccoli
½ cup chopped red onion
1 cup shredded red cabbage
small bunch of chopped basil (fresh)
1 chopped habanero chile (can be replaced with jalapeño depending on tolerance for spiciness)
2 tbsp Ponzu (Citrus Seasoned Soy Sauce)

Heat oil on 12" frying pan or wok, add tofu, vegetables, chile, and dress with Ponzu. Stir while frying preferably using a wooden spoon. Sprinkle with powdered ginger or cayenne pepper if desired. Fry all ingredients until fully cooked.


Garnish:

1 Lime
4 scallions chopped
Small bunch of cilantro chopped

Serve Broth and Noodles in bowl, top with 1 or 2 cooking spoons of Stir-Fry. Add desired amounts of garnish.


-Note: A great majority of the aforementioned ingredients can be found at most Oriental/Asian/Pan Asian Supermarkets.